Looney Case

suited street preacher
stupid street preacher
standing in the drizzle outside
the run-down co-op
wire mesh
star of cctv (piece to camera)
battle-zone front-line where

he stands
grasping hold of a leather bound
king james bible (£26.99 from amazon)
holding tight for all his worth and twisting
words (this is the word < > drow)
behind him graffiti reads ‘cunt’
which seems savagely blunt
but if the crown (with or without thorns) fits …

… smile
hand out god leaflets
be a sunbeam
in the grey grizzle

his congregation of kids from the estate
do bmx wheelies
as he delivers all his best bits
they only come to take the piss
maybe cast the first brick
telling him to fuck off back to sandal heaven
oblivious he preaches on with a
mad look of obsession
death ray lasers (1950’s sci-fi eyes)
as he watches
hell and fire
and naturally damnation of the eternal kind

his mission
(your mission
should you accept it
to read this poem before it self destructs
in fifteen seconds)
his mission being spread the word
like myxomatosis
because jesus ain’t as popular
as the beatles and the beatles ain’t as popular
as oasis and oasis ain’t as popular
as lady gaga
for if it carries on like this
the meek can go fuck themselves (lube up meek)
the scum will inherit the earth
angelic choirs will sing (or sin) to drum&bass
and urban grime with killer rhymes

it’s at this point
that this poem begins to self destruct
but if god was gangsta
all those fallen women jesus saved
for a rainy day
would be getting their kits off
donating the tips they earned with their tits
to saving this verse
then we would know
what the preacher did next
and the world wouldn’t be stuck up
the arses of the meek





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Born in East London but now residing amongst the hedge mumblers of rural Suffolk, P.A.Levy has been published in many magazines, from ‘A cappella Zoo’ to ‘Zygote In My Coffee’ and stations in-between.  He is also a founding member of the Clueless Collective and can be found loitering on page corners and wearing hoodies at www.cluelesscollective.co.uk.