Superfluous Advice (by Dorothy Parker)

Superfluous Advice
by Dorothy Parker
from Sunset Gun (1928)

Should they whisper false of you,
     Never trouble to deny;
Should the words they say be true,
     Weep and storm and swear they lie.

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Résumé (by Dorothy Parker)

Résumé
by Dorothy Parker
from Enough Rope (1926)

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

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