POMES // in loves dark celebration//
(written sometime before my Daughters were born)
morning sunshine. the world is still revolving, you
& the sky is filled to its zenith with smoke from
clean shaven, brutalized by dawn, good wake up sex,
thoughtful sweetheart, thoughtful as a dream
leaving no ghosts for the evening.
slammed doors, parking lots, rooms with no view,
cigarette holes in eyes, something tells me there isn’t
going to be
anything as important as the universe
Woke up this morning swearing I was dead.
dreamt of old haunts, & even older ways of being, of
Sinews of currents & wings electricity building the
This was good, eating beans & rice, huff jug & cocoa,
isn’t there any actions to be mused?
Tranquil. handful of pills, & I too can play the
Some have asked me, what game it is we are playing,
All I can never seem to say is in the dictionary.
Work sucks. life sucks. love is the biggest bugger of
Alcohol use to be a sedative, so did sex, now it’s
splitting the atoms of daily devotions into the wind
where Raphael sneaks behind with his sword
sworn to protect us from the demons,
Hey man You forgot the poets! The dj’s/musicians! The
dreamers in their sleep!
The maidens in their towers of self mutilated prisons!
Yet these mechanical physics of synthetic souls do not
to angelic principles/ there are zero/
have collected here under my pillow.
No more walks down silent street. nothing to remind me
of the hospitals,
nor the hallucinations of demons chewing off the face,
walking down Guadalupe & Houston, suns colliding
falling to surface
destroying the planet. No ruins. I don’t want them.
Somehow. Somehow, I am reminded anyway.
PERHAPS IT IS TIME TO PURGE. BULIMIC. FORCE THE CURD
UP & WASTE ALL OVER THE KEYS
I don’t want to clean up the mess. Don’t want to
expend the energy.
waking up dead, believing in nothing, nothing but
dreams of old
friends & lovers, chewing off my faces, chewing on my
Being strapped down. electroshock. haldol.
hollow man. loss. suicide. utter joy. desperate
in trance(ndence). loss of time. cry for help. no
sewn together by ink.glass.spooge.&. piss.&vinegar.
spiraling memory of violence leading to black out.
nothing helps. no cure. don’t want to keep thinking.
shut up. breaking the mirror. destroy it all. wash
away any implication
of being born. being strapped down. wrist
bruising. feeling the needle
return. currents of
static running all over body, into brain.
everything short of a lobotomized angel.
drinking gasoline in hell.
puking in heaven.
one foot on sidewalk.
the other in grave.
empathy. sympathy. no thanks.
give me purity.
no. I’d just pollute it all over again.
just give me silence.
& a couple keys to pound,
& I’ll give you history.
Merritt Waldon is 38, has been writing since he could write. He says it’s the only thing that makes sense to him most of the time. He lives in Austin, Indiana.