Janet P. Caldwell

Soiled Panties?

Today . . .
I put on my big-girl panties
the first time
in such a long while.

I left my Pampers
by the way–fare–side.
The price was too high
for soulish, kiddish, skid–marks.

So, I stopped peeing myself
and hiding in the dark
from my self–induced
monsters of thought.

I forgot . . .
though the Universe. . .
keeps reminding me
of who I am.

Letting go of the stupid stuff
is as easy as 1-2-3
no need to plead
for 5 anymore.

I keep arriving . . .
horizon after horizon.

Playing on a field
more level . . .
is what I thought
that I needed.

I found this balance within me.

The imagined pain
still stirs occasionally
but I am choosing
to change my perceptions
and Be.

It’s time to show-up
and stop the madness
of self blame
and others
for how I feel.
I love you, Tide Dancer . . . still.

And I chose it, didn’t I?
Yes, yes I did.

So, though I broke up
with myself.
I put the pieces
back together again
as only I can.

And I woke up
in due–time
to save me
this time
in lieu of the junk
found in the salvage yard.

Thank you, Universe. . .
for reminding me
and staying on my skittish ass
about who I am.

Clean panties, anyone?

[© Janet P. Caldwell ~ May 23rd, 2013]

* * * * *

Janet wrote her first poems in an old diary where she was noting her daily thoughts by the tender age of eight. Along with her thoughts and poetry she drew what she refers to as Hippie flowers. You know, the Sixties / Seventies flower power symbol of peace and love, which are a very important part of her consciousness today. Her first book, in such unassuming diaries, would never see the light of day due to an unfortunate house fire.

This did not deter her. She opted for a new batch of composition journals and filled every one. In the early 1980s, Janet held a byline in a small newspaper in Denton, Texas, while working full time, being a mother and attending night school. Since the early days Janet has been published in newspapers, magazines and books globally. She also has enjoyed being the feature on numerous occasions, in magazines and on radio. She has gone on to publish three books. 5 degrees to separation (2003), Passages (2012) and her latest book, Dancing Toward the Light . . . the journey continues (2013), published by and available at Inner Child Press, as well as at fine bookstores everywhere.

Discover more at http://www.janetcaldwell.com/.