I write to remember
by Aline Rahbany

I polish my nails each a different color
Hoping that this would add some colors to my soul
I cut my hair, each day a bit shorter
Hoping that this would cut out the dark feelings inside
I wear hippie clothes and walk bare feet
Hoping that this would prove my existence


In a world that is turning colorless, feeling-less and cold


I reach out to you, hug you till it hurts
Hoping that this would show you I still feel
I grab you, grasp you till you suffocate
Hoping that afterwards I will be the one to make you breathe
And then, I will go back to polishing my nails,
Cutting my hair and trying on different clothes,
Everyday.


And then, I will write about it on my blog.
And then, I will read it emotively the day after
Trying to recollect the facts that triggered this flow of emotions.


I write to remember.






* * *

© 2009 by Aline Rahbany, all rights reserved
included in the Crisis Chronicles Online Library with the poet’s permission

She writes:

I dream. I dream when people are not watching. My dreams exist some place in the air – written in a dashing way. All I do is grab the air with my hands, wash my face with it, let it penetrate my body straight into my soul; only to come out in the form of words. A dreamer who puts her imaginings in words and plays on filtering them as an attempt to create her own little world. I only started translating my thoughts into writing recently. Upon taking writing as a way to escape from reality, I never knew I would go this far. My writings are pure thoughts and“raw emotions” mainly exploring different aspects of the human being. When I am not dreaming, I am another 24 year old distorted person living in Lebanon and indulging in – down to earth – humanitarian field of work for the past two years. I have been published in Shoots & Vines, Opium Poetry 2.0, Black-Listed Magazine, Eviscerator Heaven and soon in Calliope Nerve.