I don’t know
by Linnea Waters

I don’t know
How to fix the leaky pipe in the basement
Or start the snowplow
Or solve most of my son’s math
For that matter
I don’t know why Rome fell
Or the Cold War started
Or why the sky is actually blue
But I do know
Why a mother weeps after giving birth
And women like to talk in whispers
And why men watch  when I walk by
And why they are weak when their cock is in my mouth
And why their silky salty skin tastes good on my tongue
And I don’t know why you left so many times
Or why I took you back
But I do know
Why I feel  alive when my hands are in the blackest soil
And why I like the warm rain running down my back
And the pungent smell of pine and leaves
Rising from the forest floor
In the wakening spring
And why I miss the smell of creosote
In the desert
After the storm
And I don’t know why
You couldn’t love me more
And what I did that was so wrong
But I do know why
I still take my meds with wine every night
And why the cold steel of the razor
On my skin tasted like freedom
And why I want to be called Mommy
For the rest of my life
And I know
Why Ophelia bobbed her way off the scene
And Dorothy watched the bluebirds fly
And I most definitely know
Why the caged bird sings
And Mary is the most sacred saint
And why
No man will ever hurt me again
The way
I  let you
hurt me

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